Here’s an analogy my friend sent me. It’s sad but true….
“A farmer wanting to clear his fields of pest devised a brutal experiment. He threw a dead pig into a deep, dry well and tossed in a dozen rats.
Initially, the rats feasted on the carcass in harmony. But when the meat was stripped to the bone and the days of starvation set in, survival instincts took over.
Trapped in the pit with no way out, they began attacking and devouring one another. Slowly, the numbers dwindled until only one rat remained. It’s eyes were wild, its nature fundamentally altered. It was no longer a scavenger; it was a killer.
The farmer then hoisted this lone survivor out and released it back into his field. The rat ignored the crops entirely – instead, it hunted and killed every other rat it could find.”
___________
“This is the darkest, most accurate metaphor for how a narcissist uses triangulation and divide to rule and maintain coercive control.”
As a shadow work and narcissistic abuse recovery coach, I see the aftermath of such abuse every single day.
The hardest truth to swallow is that you cannot win by becoming the toughest rat in the well. You only win by recognizing the well, refusing the bait, and setting an impenetrable boundary against the farmer.
– Therapist Unknown
My friend also wrote to me this….
“If narcissistic abuse wasn’t a thing there wouldn’t be literally thousands of us, from so many different countries, religious backgrounds and genders, all posting and seeking therapy for the same things: near identical experiences with these predators, these perpetrators. Don’t let anyone invalidate your lived experience. The more awareness we raise about how these individuals operate, the safer our world will be…..”
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